put up or shut

down.
prove yourself
passing time
save face
misplaced but you cannot erase
the shame you got
you cannot erase your genes
so write it down
you have no rights
to any rite
and if you find the
answers
i will smile and tell you
congratulations
put it down on paper
so everybody can reference
put it down on paper
so you know
the answers.
az1

Sadly, I didn’t make a break for it until I saw you, thus I couldn’t get far enough away to ever live with myself for being in love with a robot.

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Regret

I walked out of the place and haven’t even stopped thinking about your face but I wanted your actual presence so I walked out of that space and that place and I knew more than I wanted to reflect upon. Time is always in a hurry anyway.  Those times we drove home any place and how many years I didn’t waste then or some place.

Now we are years ahead
You have changed and put your hands on a different part and angle of your hips now
I still want to run away from you sometimes
The way these reminders are the best way to not forget the way I haven’t changed
The truth syrup astounds me as much as the last words we exchanged
You were always available to let me down
So thanks for that and I am getting back up
I will take my time and let go of the record collaboration
And the interpretation of love versus hate
Plus the regret that I regret every dayIMG_2030 (2).jpg

I’m looking past the place I filled the tank with using my last known income and you were on the phone and I knew then that the moment I was trampled – and so simply cut –  the empty pain of my every cell deflating and gasping, the air poisoning my lungs, the way someone who falls off a skyscraper may feel – the terror of this being new to me and assuring this was a space I found – not for the last time in life either.

Photo Jul 30, 1 39 55 PM.jpg

I walked over to that space but can’t stop thinking about you.

Wendy Clark Band @ Cheers FRI 01SEPT2017

Event Star Production PresentsSpecial Friday Night Showcase @ Cheers September 1st, 2017 7pm doors 

Wendy Clark Band with Of David

Come discover a new band with your friends at a great live music venue!
21+ event with ID

$5 at the door
Address: 11964 Washington St, Northglenn, CO 80233

Phone: (303) 955-5660

Event sponsored by:

Dragons Eye Photography (Root of All)

Mile High Rock

Graphics by Victor

Blunt Force Stereo at BluntForceStereo.com

Your semi-daily bog

Consider the characteristics or conditions of all the substance in your intrinsic perception, such as the entities which one can identify as a solid state or a liquid state, (or even a gaseous state), and you believe you know by the very nature of the “subject,” to be just what it is, because that truth is fundamental. Now, suppose these primary dimensions of your reality are permuted, a metamorphosis which transforms every element, transcending everything so that it is the not only opposite of what it may have once been perceived as but the same in it’s lack of form and no law of the universe has any law or harmony, (the gaseous factors would really be astounding) and everything is nothing, and all that is or is not, is a contradiction of the same problem.

The concrete is now the abstract.

The trivium is equal to the empty paradox.

The continuum is now part of absolute zero.

The phone buzzed and I saw two new messages. One was a tangible items requiring some thought and input from certain people involved.

The second message was clearly meant to test me although a immediate result was void of reason and consequence and was disguised emptiness. Support of an broken statement that was neither  subjective or objective. 

Alright, you lost me – I am off the trail of interest; you may kindly fuck off. I can shake off the pixelated perception you painted me. A blank canvass of nothing.

This cognitive action led to my next transitory side-effect which was after quickly reviewing the causal theory of epiphenomenalism (physical events have mental effects, but mental events have no effects of any kind) how very useless it was to philosophize at this time, how tired my mind was, then snip-snapping right on back to my strenuously draining brooding of the undetermined unknown and how that unknown was always about to increase in conscious life.

There are the places at which you are not, or perhaps where you would rather be, not be, won’t be, the list within the list within the list is infinite, but my point is that the location of where you are (or where you ain’t) is probably the most important place you could ever be. Where you’re not is: any, some, or everywhere you could be, certainly, of course when you have but a critical amount of “time” remaining to reconsider every place where you ever were which led me to this last circumstance in which I was currently entangled, where I was not was anywhere but where I was, at a condition labeled as the end of one’s lifetime; this is the place where you last were, and your mind works itself backwards, instinctively and recklessly, and flashes these excruciating images, words, colors, lines and limits, gaps and speculation, theories, people, pets, regrets, media, motions, accidents, mistakes, recoveries, tastes, dreams, nightmares, mischief, games, fame, humiliation, embarrassment, acceptance, awards, rewards, faith, apathy, remorse, anxiety, true faith, true love, true sex, true blueness of the purest skies, waters, and eyes; good fortune, good graces, all those artistic creations….

The worst part was always there: The realization of having to contemplate how anything could be even worse than the worst realization you can contemplate. To me it was feeling that I was departing without saying goodbye; abruptly leaving the party early, sneaking out irresponsibly and silently, the one who didn’t even say, “later on,” and never came back.
During these mangled, mingled conjunctions of deliberation, I disappeared.

The stories left behind

“If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with gobbledygook.” – Wendy Clark

Part II

They groan and I acknowledge both nothing and lack thereof; I nudge the steel door open with my shoulder slowly, and instantly entertained the idea of perhaps joining a gym/health-club-type thing when I returned home; I considered this because a ten-year old had pushed this door open earlier with her pinky finger and I felt weak and trapped within wacky hot Ville. But when I stepped into the night air, all was the same opposite. Two weeks went by in twenty seconds. I opened my eyes outside of every heavy, tedious door which I would ever open. I lost and let go of it all – before I know I had ever gained it of kept any of it all – I was thinking my thoughts were on you baby. While it was that my thoughts of you were in me; I was surrounded magnificently and I wandered my soul as I possible encircled my self.

Could have melted – right there – in this sweltering ocean of humidity, this heavy evening atmosphere seemed, at the moment, that this twilight is what I know; all of my life broken and rebuilt: mended, tailored, and hemmed. My sore eye’s sight fell towards the now and I accepted this unfamiliar paradox of being in this place, simultaneously wishing I was anywhere else but here, and I was so beside myself that I was within it all – all of the epic epiphanies which I could summon to stomach, ingest, digest; I felt this territory was mine, maybe because you had instilled such insight: within me, without me, about me.

Sometimes I wonder if others mind so much mental chaos as I; I wonder if they possess it, repress it, admit it, avoid it; of it their heads aren’t as mindful as mine. I think that I think too much, too rapidly, too randomly, too unsequentially, and at times I wish I didn’t. But after chaotically analyzing these matters, happily I realize I would not change a thing. Hell, it’s likely I -can’t- change a thing.

Your Semi Daily Blhag

When I have something bothering me, causing me pain, distraction, discomfort, or anger, I tend to Another Day at the Officetake it out on those close to me.

I learned that after being inclined to ride that ridge and I was stopped.

The problem is; that’s your damn problem. You can talk about it and maybe someone will listen or care or help, but they can’t fix your problem and that is now bothering you enough to behave negatively, speak harshly, disengage, and then make the point that you are miserable.

Well, hell; I am sorry you are miserable. But don’t tell me I am worthless or weak or easily stepped on.

Like, say it’s all about you: you don’t have to say so; let’s pretend you don’t have the mind or time to think about choosing your words because you are miserable and a loser.  You recite the reasons repeatedly to any person or people who will listen. That is, up to a point where you to demonstrate to the person exactly how manifestation of misery and self-fulfilling prophesy are created on a level that is fascinating, and how to know you are not that person and will continue to  in no way resemble that behavior and thinking.

When something is the opposite of bothering me, etc., I tend to take it out on those I am close to. Share your good side.

Friends are important.

Friends are people who can take you on a ride in their life and it’s up to you who gets to be those people. And same both ways.