Your semi-daily bog

Consider the characteristics or conditions of all the substance in your intrinsic perception, such as the entities which one can identify as a solid state or a liquid state, (or even a gaseous state), and you believe you know by the very nature of the “subject,” to be just what it is, because that truth is fundamental. Now, suppose these primary dimensions of your reality are permuted, a metamorphosis which transforms every element, transcending everything so that it is the not only opposite of what it may have once been perceived as but the same in it’s lack of form and no law of the universe has any law or harmony, (the gaseous factors would really be astounding) and everything is nothing, and all that is or is not, is a contradiction of the same problem.

The concrete is now the abstract.

The trivium is equal to the empty paradox.

The continuum is now part of absolute zero.

The phone buzzed and I saw two new messages. One was a tangible items requiring some thought and input from certain people involved.

The second message was clearly meant to test me although a immediate result was void of reason and consequence and was disguised emptiness. Support of an broken statement that was neither  subjective or objective. 

Alright, you lost me – I am off the trail of interest; you may kindly fuck off. I can shake off the pixelated perception you painted me. A blank canvass of nothing.

This cognitive action led to my next transitory side-effect which was after quickly reviewing the causal theory of epiphenomenalism (physical events have mental effects, but mental events have no effects of any kind) how very useless it was to philosophize at this time, how tired my mind was, then snip-snapping right on back to my strenuously draining brooding of the undetermined unknown and how that unknown was always about to increase in conscious life.

There are the places at which you are not, or perhaps where you would rather be, not be, won’t be, the list within the list within the list is infinite, but my point is that the location of where you are (or where you ain’t) is probably the most important place you could ever be. Where you’re not is: any, some, or everywhere you could be, certainly, of course when you have but a critical amount of “time” remaining to reconsider every place where you ever were which led me to this last circumstance in which I was currently entangled, where I was not was anywhere but where I was, at a condition labeled as the end of one’s lifetime; this is the place where you last were, and your mind works itself backwards, instinctively and recklessly, and flashes these excruciating images, words, colors, lines and limits, gaps and speculation, theories, people, pets, regrets, media, motions, accidents, mistakes, recoveries, tastes, dreams, nightmares, mischief, games, fame, humiliation, embarrassment, acceptance, awards, rewards, faith, apathy, remorse, anxiety, true faith, true love, true sex, true blueness of the purest skies, waters, and eyes; good fortune, good graces, all those artistic creations….

The worst part was always there: The realization of having to contemplate how anything could be even worse than the worst realization you can contemplate. To me it was feeling that I was departing without saying goodbye; abruptly leaving the party early, sneaking out irresponsibly and silently, the one who didn’t even say, “later on,” and never came back.
During these mangled, mingled conjunctions of deliberation, I disappeared.

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Your Semi Daily Blhag

When I have something bothering me, causing me pain, distraction, discomfort, or anger, I tend to Another Day at the Officetake it out on those close to me.

I learned that after being inclined to ride that ridge and I was stopped.

The problem is; that’s your damn problem. You can talk about it and maybe someone will listen or care or help, but they can’t fix your problem and that is now bothering you enough to behave negatively, speak harshly, disengage, and then make the point that you are miserable.

Well, hell; I am sorry you are miserable. But don’t tell me I am worthless or weak or easily stepped on.

Like, say it’s all about you: you don’t have to say so; let’s pretend you don’t have the mind or time to think about choosing your words because you are miserable and a loser.  You recite the reasons repeatedly to any person or people who will listen. That is, up to a point where you to demonstrate to the person exactly how manifestation of misery and self-fulfilling prophesy are created on a level that is fascinating, and how to know you are not that person and will continue to  in no way resemble that behavior and thinking.

When something is the opposite of bothering me, etc., I tend to take it out on those I am close to. Share your good side.

Friends are important.

Friends are people who can take you on a ride in their life and it’s up to you who gets to be those people. And same both ways.

Marketing -101

How to market to dull audiences.

No really, the internet has taken a turn for the worse this past quarter, the trend seems to be a direct impact of the current industry trends, notwithstanding the holidays, most of which are recognized as days to target as potential customers. Unless the market is smart and dull as all the humanity. They are those kids you totally understood what someone meant when you said, “So, like, what’s the deal with that guy?” to your mutual friend or roommate and your mutual friend said, “Oh, Pat is an engineer major,” and you knew from experience and campus legendary stories passed on as fact that engineers were recluses and had to be targeted as such.

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Letting Go

Briefly leave a detailed message at the sound of the tone so that I may email you my thoughts in bullets style phrases according to importance and purpose. Or you may try me on my other cell phone which is this same number but you will not get me live on the other end because I don’t have time to talk to you without going into great detail and I would like to spare myself the embarrassment of confessing my vulnerabilities unless I really thought you gave a fuck. And perhaps you are listening, and maybe it is worth it to reach out to you because I may obtain due enlightenment and I may just open my mind and the door of my heart will creak ajar, but I don’t have the time to risk my psychological puzzles on the chance that they are just riddles – not to be solved.

If we love by letting go… how do we learn to hate?

I read Dr. Scott Peck with a grain of sea salt and a mind open to the wisdom of those who love so much that they will actually write and teach and care enough to be someone who truly tries to touch random people across miles and generations, and I understand his philosophies and I grow and watch myself extend my boundaries and make choices based on love and I am the poster-child for redemption, but I struggle with loving by letting go… generally, I guess, but specifically… I can’t seem to ever let go of what I love…